It Takes Two?!?
I recently and unintentionally started a huge argument in my Sunday school class…I mean Adult Bible Fellowship or Adult Learning Community or whatever the new trendy nomenclature is. I didn’t think it was all that controversial but maybe it is and maybe I am wrong.
What is forgiveness? I had always assumed it was the cancellation of a debt between two people. Or between a person and God. And so the evidently controversial point I made was that it takes two people for forgiveness to occur. If the person who did the sinning does not consider what he did wrong, or doesn’t want to apologize, or to accept your forgiveness, then what you are doing is making forgiveness available and loving that person but the debt hasn’t been cancelled.
The Bible is clear. No one has the right to withhold forgiveness from anyone. But in the same way that God makes forgiveness available to us, if we don’t receive it then we are not forgiven. So to, I think, someone can reject the forgiveness we offer them.
Am I completely out in left field?
posted by steve | 8:29 AM
5 Comments:
I guess it isnt clear what the controversial part was....
If someone doesnt want or accept your forgiveness, can the term forgiveness still appropriately be applied to the internal act of letting go of your anger towards that person for the wrong they committed against you?
I said No. The term for that is loving your enemy, which we are also commanded to do.
Hmm... I'll admit, I am stumped. Referring to the ultimate source (the self,) I've always felt that I should forgive my enemies even before they ask for it. Jesus asked God to forgive the people who were crucifying even as they mocked Him.
Either way, the correct action to any hair-splitting theological arguement is to get angry and argue even more.
Christs words from the cross complicate things. But besides that all other instructions on forgiveness describe it as something that happens after repentance. e.g. Luke 17. If you brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him.
I think sometime we take the easy way out to avoid confrontation.
(oops to above)
I agree with steve in the fact that, as stated in Luke 17:3, we are only to forgive brothers in Christ if they repent. This verse was then brought to my attention:
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions." (Mark 11:25-26)
This verse explains unconditional forgiveness, which translates to loving and caring for the well-being of others despite their rebellion against God, and both we and God must impart on all mankind (as Jesus did to His mockers). On the other hand, Luke 17:3 describes conditional forgiveness, of which we cannot impart unless the offender, a brother, repents before God.
The dividing line can be tricky to draw, but it comes down to this: forgive the way God forgives (Eph. 4:32).
Exactlty, forgive the way God forgives. YOu da man ANdre.
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
God extends forgiveness, makes it available and is willing and eager give is to all who ask. But we, if we are unrepentant, can choose to remain attached to our sin.
I think the same is true of interpersonal forgiveness.
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